This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
