Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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