That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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