hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He passed out mid-signature
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
