i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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