Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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