The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
