you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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