He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room