I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...