We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before