i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
These tits shall not be calmed
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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