so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.