Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
