He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
