forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize