Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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