omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
