my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
