omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize