You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
