ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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