Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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