Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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