I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize