her vagine was all disorganized.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I need to calm my uterus...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
