I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
