There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
