...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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