living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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