yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
