maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
