I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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