Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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