Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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