he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
