he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
