I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
