I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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