uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
How naked do you want me to be?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
