and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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