when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
