i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
