are you still at the devil's house?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
