oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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