Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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