just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
