Will you blow on my dice?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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