Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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