So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
