Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
