From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We're too hungover to prance.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
