I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
