Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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