God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
