Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Terrible idea I love it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I love you. Go after that dick
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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