Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
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