She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
