We got so high we made milksteak
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
