id be glad to
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
