So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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