Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
