So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
