And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
