Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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