Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
