im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
