I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize