My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Randomize
