they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize