Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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