Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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