Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
